no one's got it all
by summertimesadness
Summary: It's like a metaphor, and metaphors are important. The winds are like her. The blow through the city and constantly change everything in their path. She decides that she's going to be just like the wind, and she knows that she is going to be a force to be reckoned with. Finchel, one-shot. Spoilers for 4x03 and 4x04.


**i.**

She really likes living in the city. She likes being able to feel like an adult all out on her own, being able to do and say and feel whatever she wants. She doesn't feel the burden of a suburb weighing down on her shoulders anymore, and it feels nice.

She loves the way the marquee lights stay on for what seems all night and light her path back to the apartment she has with Kurt and how it gets really windy on cold days. Kurt tells her that it's because of all of the skyscrapers, but she likes to think that it's something else.

It's like a metaphor, and metaphors are important. The winds are like her. The blow through the city and constantly change everything in their path. She decides that she's going to be just like the wind one night after imbibing in a glass too many of champagne for dinner.

"I'm the wind, Kurt," she announces, standing on the foot of her bed, like Rose from _Titanic. _She grips the mattress with her socked feet and spreads her arms out like a bird, balancing as Kurt watches from below. "I'm going to change this entire city."

Kurt laughs to himself, taking a bite of the pizza they ordered. It's the fifth pizza they've ordered since moving in together. "Watch out, New York," he says teasingly, looking up at her. "Here comes Rachel Berry."

Only she knows that she is going to be a force to be reckoned with. Even in her buzzed state, Rachel Berry is still the only Rachel Berry she knows how to be; confident.

**ii.**

There's a picture of her and Finn that she keeps on her nightstand. The first thing she sees when she wakes up, the last thing she sees before she falls asleep – that sort of thing. Each night before she falls asleep she kisses her index finger and presses it to the picture.

She likes to think that somewhere, far, far away, Finn can feel her kiss on his cheek, but she knows it's silly to think about. Her life isn't a Nicholas Sparks novel, no matter how much she would like it to be.

**iii.**

Kurt promises her that he's going to make her look like a supermodel after he gets that internship he's been vying after since arriving in New York – and he fulfills his promise, to some extent. Rachel knows that she'll never be a supermodel. She doesn't have the figure or the face or the legs. But Kurt is Kurt, and he makes it work. Like always.

"This makes your face look thinner," he says, wiping a makeup sponge between her jaw and cheekbone. A few moments pass and he spins her around in the hairdresser's chair they've managed to procure for their apartment and lets her look at herself in the mirror.

She's _different. _She doesn't look like the girl who wears knee highs and reindeer sweaters.

She looks like a page out of Vogue.

She steps out of the chair and embraces Kurt, laughing.

"Thank you," she says, squeezing him tightly. Kurt laughs and squeezes her back, resting his chin on her forehead to whisper in her ear.

"Just wait until Finn sees you."

**iv.**

There's a boy in one of her classes that's nice. Rather, nicer to her than the rest of her classmates. She realizes that it's not too different here than it was in high school. The same hierarchy exists and once more, she's on the bottom. She's become accustomed to the feeling of being unappreciated.

That's why she thinks she likes spending time around Brody so much. He seems to appreciate her being there, which is all she really wants.

She doesn't hesitate when he asks her out for coffee one afternoon.

**v.**

"I told you, that was the night our router wasn't working. Otherwise, I would have checked to see if Finn had emailed me." Rachel distracts herself and grabs a banana from the counter, her fingers picking at the peel until it begins to come off.

"So, that's why you went out for coffee with this guy from your voice class, right?" Kurt looks at her from across the island in the middle of the kitchen, but she avoids him.

He waits for her to respond. "Rachel."

She rolls her eyes and fingers the hem of her skirt. (Whether Kurt's made her over or not, she still wears skirts. It's a staple of her wardrobe, isn't it?) "We're just friends, Kurt. You know how much I love Finn." It's true, after all. She knows, even – she knows that Brody likes her. It's this novel feeling that she's never experienced before; having a boy like her before she has to profess her feelings to them and hope that maybe they'll turn around like Finn had for her and fall in love with her.

That, and he's older than her. An older boy who likes her without her even having to do anything makes her feel like she's the prettiest girl in the world.

"He's the cute one, right?" Rachel looks up from her banana. "The one you practically saw naked coming out of the shower?"

Her face pinks and she can't help but smile slightly. "Yes," she confesses. "But there's nothing between us. I promise."

**v.**

He loves her. He loves the way she licks her lips right before she's about to speak. He loves the way her hair falls in her eyes when she stands on her toes to kiss him. He loves how she giggles when he pulls her in his lap for a kiss and he loves how she stares at him after they're spent and traces the freckles across the bridge of his nose, her fingers feather light against his skin.

"You don't freckle in the summer, do you?" She would ask, her big brown eyes transfixed on his hazel ones. He would smile and push her hand away, causing her to giggle. "I read in a magazine that if you don't freckle in the summer, that you're destined to live a life alone." She would tease him on a regular basis, just like that. "Imagine you, poor Finn, living all alone without anyone to depend on."

He would grab her by the waist and pull her in towards him again; sometimes coming close to reestablishing the mood they had shared between the two of them moments earlier.

"Well, I guess you won't have me," he would remind her, pressing kisses to her freckled shoulders. (She, on the other hand, _did _spot on her shoulders and around her nose during the hottest days of summer.) She would smile and kiss him back, feeling his hands wrap around her small waist and hold her like he was making sure he wouldn't float away from him.

She belonged to him, and she belonged to him happily so. She was his and had made the promise to stay his before leaving.

That was what worried him the most.

**vi.**

She drinks her coffee with far too much sugar than she probably should, but she doesn't mind. She brushes after her every meal and flosses between classes, so it's not like her teeth are going to rot from the outside in.

It brings her close to fear when Brody's memorized her order, however. A tall Soy Caramel Macchiato. Kurt doesn't even know that. It's easier for her to remember Brody's; he drinks his coffee black.

She doesn't think that Finn ever memorized her order at Starbucks. Of course, she never went out for coffee with him as frequently as she does with Brody, but maybe that's because she and Brody are friends. Friends go out for coffee together, couples don't.

Of course, friends don't normally memorize the other's order.

**vii.**

"Your hair looks like you took a leaf blower to it," Kurt says plainly one evening as he looks at Rachel walk into their apartment from the couch. "Really, did you decide to go for the whole windblown look, or what? Because really, it does not suit you well."

Rachel bites off a thumbnail and knows that she should just tell Kurt the truth, but she doesn't want him to get upset with her. He's only going to tell her that she has someone waiting for her that loves her and would hate to see her falling into a relationship with someone else.

She does her best to ignore those thoughts, however. Pleasing Kurt along with making herself feel happy have never really been two things that fall into the same category.

"I, um, spent all day in Central Park with Brody," she says softly, running her fingers through her hair, knotty after the wind has blown through it. She notices the glance Kurt shoots her and makes a face, hoping to convince him otherwise. "We are so far away from being a thing, Kurt. You need to stop worrying about me."

He does, really. After all, she's the wind. She can change herself to be whoever she wants.

**viii.**

She feels like she's on fire when she kisses him for the first time. He tells her that she doesn't have to be anything with him if she doesn't want to, and really, she doesn't want to – she just thinks at a different time and processes information through her brain at a slower rate than how her body reacts.

His hands hold her by the waist and they stay stationary there, not trying to rove around her chest or her behind like Finn's do. It's endearing, the way he does it, but she likes the security of feeling Brody's hands holding onto her, like he's never going to let her go.

For the first time, she doesn't picture Finn pressed into her and doesn't try to make herself believe that she's kissing her boyfriend.

She's kissing Brody, and she's happy that way.

There's a knock at the door and it pulls her out of their kiss, turning her into molasses. She doesn't want to leave him and she doesn't want to lose the feeling of electricity shooting through her veins, but she has to. Otherwise, Kurt's going to exile her or something for being a horrible roommate.

She just stands there, dumbfounded after the door is opened.

Finn looks at her with the same smile she always remembered stuck to his face, and she knows he's searching her face to see that glimmer of excitement and hope and joy, but he can't find it.

Her lips buzz and she feels horrible. She's a horrible, horrible person.

**ix.**

She thanks her lucky stars (and she has quite a few) that Finn doesn't seem to notice anything. He seems oblivious and she doesn't know whether or not she likes it that way. Part of her wants to confess to him what she's been doing and fall to her knees and beg him for forgiveness.

The other part of her doesn't want to say anything. It's her kiss that she's shared with Brody, and she's never been one to kiss and tell.

The other part of her wins.

"Finn," she chokes out, trying to play everything off as best as she can. "I… I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, um, there was an accident and stuff…" His voice trails off and he looks at Brody, standing behind Rachel. _His _Rachel. The one who he had promised that he would wait for and come back for. The image is unsettling and he feels sick to his stomach for a moment.

They exchange pleasantries and Rachel watches, her heart feeling like it's going to burst. She understands that this is far more than she ever asked for when she and Finn decided to try their relationship thousands of miles apart.

She knows that she's going to lose it at some point. There's no way she can keep the ball in the air for that long and not drop it at some point.

As much as she would like to believe it, Rachel Berry is not Wonder Woman.

**x.**

She comes back from class one night looking slightly sexier than usual, and Kurt's gone for the night. Something about his job and having to be at ten different places at once and memorizing the coffee orders of at least five different names from the fashion industry.

Finn just knows that he hasn't seen Rachel in three months and he's a red-blooded male. Not much else needs to be said about the subject.

"Hey," she says, setting her bag in a chair by the door. She looks like she could headline a strip club dressed the way she is; black shorts that barely cover anything and a slouchy red shirt that falls off of her shoulder, and these shoes that he knows she's going to tell him are 'dance shoes,' but they're not, just because no one in the world would be able to dance in shoes with heels that high.

The fishnets are what do him in, though. They make her legs look even better than they already do, if that's even possible.

She asks him if he's had dinner yet and she laughs when he says that he hasn't, because it's almost ten and she wants to go to bed and not order a pizza or Chinese or McDonald's.

That, and she's dead tired. All she wants is to fall into bed and not have Kurt interrupt her coming back from his job at two in the morning.

"You look amazing," Finn tells her, grabbing her by the waist as she sits down on the couch with him, sitting in his lap. His hands coast over her legs and she giggles softly, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"It's just rehearsal attire," she tells him. "We're learning the salsa this week."

She puts on this cute Spanish accent when she says the word 'salsa' and it makes Finn laugh, holding her closer. Those are the things he's missed about her the most.

She knows that she looks nice. Ever since Kurt's picked out all of these new clothes for her, she feels like a different person. She looks nice now, not cute. The feeling of not being a cute little girl anymore is the best thing that's come from Kurt's whole makeover.

"Well, you look really, really nice," he tells her. He waits for a kiss because that's what she would normally do in a situation like this. It's like she turns into a different person when there's no one else around; just him and her and the creaks of the floorboards. Kurt isn't here and all he wants is her, so it should be the first thing on her mind, too.

She just presses a kiss to his cheek and gets up, walking into the kitchen and opening a cabinet. He feels his heart sink and looks down at his shoes, sighing slightly.

She's changed. Really, really changed.

**xi.**

It's like some weird coincidence happens and Blaine shows up at the door of Kurt and Rachel's apartment, to which Finn can't complain about. It's like they're all together again, just like they used to be, and he really feels like everything's going to work out despite what he can't help but think about.

But it doesn't.

**xii.**

"So, you're just leaving?" Rachel looks at Brody and nods her head, affirming it to herself more than anyone else.

"Just for a while," she says, trying to sound as calm as she can. "For the weekend, at the most." She doesn't want to tell him why she's leaving. Telling Brody that her boyfriend ran back home with his tail between his legs and now she has to go back to find him isn't exactly the most endearing thing to tell him.

She just says that it's her dad's birthday and she needs to go home. It's an excuse that seems valid enough and Brody believes her, which is the best part of it.

"Well, I'm sure everyone's going to miss you," he says, walking up to her before she has the chance to close her suitcase and closes it for her, zipping the pink thing up for her and lifting it off the bed, setting it on the floor with a thud. She smiles sweetly and feels her stomach twist into a knot, even though she knows it's not supposed to do that. Not with Brody, anyway. That's a feeling she reserves for Finn, and she's only ever felt it with Finn.

"I'll probably be back on Sunday night," she tells him, even though she's not sure why she's telling him. Brody probably doesn't care, and he doesn't have to care. She has a boyfriend and she's going to find him now, and she –

He kisses her on the cheek before she grabs the handle to her suitcase. The left side of her face feels like it's on fire and she lets her eyes fall shut before she's able to find the right words to tell him.

"I don't think we should be doing this," she says nervously, finding it harder to look at him. She loves Finn, and it should be as easy as that.

Except in normal cases, the people you love don't leave in the middle of the night to return home with no explanation.

She tries her best to blow it off. She and Finn aren't exactly conventional to begin with.

Brody offers her a smile and walks out the door with her. "It's fine," he tells her, not seeming upset in the least. "At least let me help you with your bags down to your cab?"

Rachel smiles sweetly and lets him pick up her suitcase. She's not the lightest of travelers, anyway.

**xiii.**

They have an argument. Not their first real argument either, so it doesn't have that feeling of ticking off a box on an imaginary list once it starts to die down.

She knows that she's hurt him in the end because she's hurting too, but she knows that it's what the best is for them, anyway. If they continue the way they have been, they'll just get into a bigger argument and break up, only in that case they would actually break up and call everything off.

Rachel likes to think of what they have as a hiatus. They're broken up, but they're not broken up forever. She still knows that they have their invisible tether that keeps them together.

She and Kurt are sitting on the couch one night watching _Rent _after finding it on demand, and it isn't long before they both realize the mistake they've made of watching it.

Kurt isn't fairing too well in his relationship with Blaine either, she learns. They don't talk about it much over dinner and it's a rule in their apartment not to speak during a movie (a rule Rachel had instilled into the rules of their apartment upon watching _Funny Girl _with Kurt for the first time). They just know that they're both hurting, and movie musicals seem to be the best at-home remedy they can find.

For now, anyway.

Kurt hears Rachel begin to sniffle when Maureen and Joanne bring Mimi into the apartment, cold and lifeless. Normally, he wouldn't think much of it since he knows that Rachel always starts to tear up at this point in the movie, but tonight's different. He knows that in Rachel's convoluted little head that she's thinking about her and Finn, and she misses him.

She sits up before he can speculate any further and looks at him, tears in her eyes that are now puffy and red from spending most of her day crying.

"Do you think that everything's going to work out between Finn and I?" She asks Kurt, her bottom lip quivering as she tries to speak. She fixes her hair and tries to compose herself for a moment, sighing deeply. "You can tell me the truth, Kurt. Please."

He doesn't know what to tell her. Deep down, he wants them to do as well as they had in high school. They were always so happy together; one of those couples that looked more like best friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.

He wonders about Blaine and if he has the will to go back to him. It all seemed so perfect and infinite a year ago before they all went their separate ways, and now it's like everything has to change with the months on the calendar. It makes him wonder why so many people say that they loved change, when he knows that the only changes that have happened between everyone he's known and loved have only turned to garbage.

"I don't know," he tells her, wanting to be as honest with her as possible without breaking her heart any more than it already is. He moves a hand up to her face and brushes her hair out of her eyes, wiping a tear from her cheek before it reaches her blouse. "But I do know that Finn loves you," he tells her, grabbing her hands as she looks down into her lap. She looks back up at him and her lips fall into a pout, trying her best to keep from crying as Kurt looks at her. "Just give it some time, okay? I still fully intend to be the maid of honor at your wedding."

Rachel begins to laugh solemnly and gives Kurt's hand a squeeze, sniffling and doing her best to blink back her tears.

She knows that Finn loves her. He's the one that wants her more right now than she wants him, really. Or the relationship, anyway. She knows that they'll be fine eventually, they just need some time.

Distance did make the heart grow fonder, didn't it?

**xiv.**

She feels somewhat uncomfortable talking to Brody after she and Finn have called it quits. It feels like he's trying to bandage up a wound that's too fresh to try and repair, and the guilt that fills her stomach whenever she speaks to him and goes beyond pleasantries. She knows that Finn would just shake his head and feel like breaking up with her was worth all of it if he were to see her, so she chooses not to pursue him.

Besides, she shouldn't have that fast of a turnaround anyway. Girls that breakup with their boyfriends to whom they were once engaged and ended up sleeping with boys in their dance classes were automatically branded as sluts.

Well, that was what she thought would happen, anyway.

"You look kind of upset," Brody tells her one day after rehearsal. They've already started rehearsals for the fall musical showcase. The production is _Ragtime, _and Rachel's in the chorus. "You know, being in the chorus really isn't all that bad. You get to work your way up the ladder, and by the time you're a senior, you'll be playing Eva Peron in _Evita_, no doubt."

Rachel laughs dryly and bends down to unbuckle her dance shoes, looking back up at Brody and trying to smile at him. "It's not that," she assures him. And it isn't, really. Rachel knows that she won't be the star right away her freshman year. She's not the big fish in the small pond that she once was back home, and she recognizes that.

She's not going to tell Brody about Finn, however. He doesn't need to know and she doesn't want him to know.

Brody drops down to one knee and looks at her, smiling. "Well, then what is it?"

"I really don't think that's any of your concern."

She throws her dance shoes into her bag and slips into her heels, zipping the bag up and reaching down for it, but Brody beats her to it, slinging the bedazzled pink duffle bag over his shoulder.

"You're upset. I think any good-hearted person would be concerned."

Rachel furrows her brow and sighs, sticking a hand out and asking him for her bag back. She doesn't have to be anywhere in particular, and Kurt's gone working for the day. He's gone so often now and she sees him so rarely that it's not even like they share an apartment anymore.

Brody laughs at the expression on her face and she scoffs, laughing slightly. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, Brody, but I really can't-"

"What if I cooked you dinner tonight? You know, to cheer you up?" She crosses her arms across her chest and can't help but laugh as she watches him smile, trying his best to coerce her into doing this with him.

And he's not that horrible of a person. He's not horrible at all, actually, and she knows that. She knows that when he's told her that he likes her that he actually means it, and it's not just some ploy to get into her pants.

(Although why anyone would willingly _want _to get in her pants, she doesn't know.)

"And what if I say no?" She asks him in return, placing her hands on her hips and cocking a brow flirtatiously. She hasn't felt this confident around anyone since her argument with Finn. She watches as Brody shrugs and turns around like he's leaving, turning over his shoulder and smiling at her.

"Then I guess you won't be getting your bag back."

She really can't _not _go back with him. Besides, it's only dinner. It's not like he's proposing to her or anything.

**xv.**

Santana looks at Finn and brushes her hair from her eyes before taking a sip of her drink. "So Rachel just… broke up with you?" She sets her cup down and slouches back in her chair, folding her arms over her chest. "God, I never would have thought that she would have the balls to call it off first."

She snaps out of her daze and notices Finn. "Oh," she says, her voice soft. "Sorry."

"She was just so sure of herself when she did it," he says. "Like she knew what she was going to say and why she was going to say it and that was all she wanted to say."

Santana looks at him and sighs, her nails clinking against the cold ceramic of her mug. "Well, she still loves you," she says, not really having had the opportunity to talk to Rachel since that heinous train send-off Finn had arranged for her in June (she didn't have the heart to tell him how badly it sucked). "And, I mean, she does, really. You totally know that Berry would wear a chastity belt for you, right?"

Finn laughs half-heartedly at Santana and she smiles, reaching her hand out across the table for his.

"I really wouldn't worry about it too much. You'll find your way back to each other. I promise."

**xvi.**

It's raining the hardest he's ever seen it, and he's killing himself for forgetting an umbrella, because the suit he's wearing can't get water on it, and now it has water on it, and he's been having the worst week ever, and this certainly is no way to top it off.

Kurt's just glad that it's Friday. He doesn't have any plans for the weekend, and neither does Rachel, so he's stopped at the convenience store on the corner two blocks away from their apartment and picked up Cap'n Crunch and all of the different types of Oreos he can find. He figures that Rachel will win the argument of what movie to watch simply by picking out _Funny Girl _and locking herself in the bathroom if things don't go her way.

He skillfully unlocks the door to their apartment while jostling the bags of food as well as his own bag, nearly tripping over the umbrella stand by the door. He looks around, confused.

None of the lights are on except for the one in the hall. If he's right, that light is the one that comes from Rachel's room. He cocks his head and sets the bags down on the ground, slowly walking down the hall and towards her room.

She's home, he knows that she is. He's just never known her to hide away in her room, doing absolutely nothing. She doesn't have anything in there to keep her company besides her pink record player. She's probably sitting on her bed and listening to The Way We Were and crying about Finn, and he decides that he needs to take immediate action.

She'll cry herself into an early grave if she continues like this.

Her door is slightly ajar and he can hear her, but she's not crying like he thinks she would be.

Instead she's laughing; bright and breathy and soft, and Kurt waits outside of the door for a moment, because he's not sure if she's reading something funny or if she's gone clinically insane – because in all honesty, he worries about her sometimes.

He hears her let out a sharp moan and he almost loses his footing. He knows that she misses Finn, but really, _that much?_

Kurt waves it off and begins to make his way down the hall again, not wanting to disturb Rachel and whatever her nighttime activity is, and he's almost halfway down the hallway when he hears it.

He's only heard that name once before, and it doesn't belong to the boy she just broke up with.

"Rachel?" He asks, charging back down the hall and opening the door to her room.

Inside, his eyes fall on a very undressed Rachel Berry sprawled across her bed, eyes wide as she looks at Kurt.

Standing next to her and quickly pulling his shirt on is exactly who Kurt thought it was. Rachel scrambles to pull her sweater back over her head and stands up, running towards Kurt and pushing him out of the room as she smooths her skirt back over her legs.

Rachel's eyes are wide and she looks like she's just killed someone the way she pushes him out of the room. "Kurt, please, you can't say _anything-_"

"So, that guy from your voice class is just a friend, hmm?"

**xvii.**

She and Brody aren't anything serious. What Kurt had walked in on wasn't anything; they were just kissing one another, like they had been the time before.

Only this time, clothes were off and hands were allowed to go wherever they wanted and her mind wasn't in the same place. She likes kissing him and he's been more than vocal about how much he likes kissing her, and that's all they've been doing.

So maybe Brody's been allowed to see her bra and she's seen what he looks like without his own shirt on, but she's not in high school anymore. She's an adult, and she wants to do what adult women do.

"I wish you would listen to me," she tells Kurt the next morning before he leaves for work and she heads out the door for class. "Brody and I are just-"

"Just what, Rachel?" He grabs a banana from the counter and begins to peel it open quickly. "Is this why you broke up with Finn? So you could have the chance to be with this guy here, where it was more convenient instead of being with him?"

Rachel looks at Kurt as he speaks, watching the tears begin to well in his eyes. She knows why it hurts him and she wishes that it didn't, but she can't always turn into the bandage she normally does whenever he's hurting.

"Kurt, I'm not cheating on Finn," she begins, walking over to him. "Finn and I… we're not together anymore."

Kurt looks at her and shakes his head from side to side. "Rachel, you're 'taking a break.'" He adds in air quotes where necessary. "I don't think that means that you can have Brody have his hands up your skirt the day after you make a decision like that."

She feels a pain in her chest and looks at Kurt, frowning. "His hands were not up my skirt," she tells him, watching him as he speaks. He still looks upset, and she knows why. She doesn't want to remind him of Blaine and she doesn't want to make him feel bad, but he has to know the truth about her and Brody. His hands were certainly not up her skirt.

He just rested his hands on her legs and she didn't oppose when he had pushed her skirt up and out of the way to get a better grip on her.

Kurt leans against the door and watches as Rachel walks up to him, worrying her hands together nervously. He leans his head against the door and she walks up to him, offering him her hand sheepishly.

"Finn and I… we're taking a break," she tells him sweetly, her voice soft and close to breaking as she talks to him. "And Brody… he's just kind of there, okay?" And he is, really. They're not anything serious and they're not planning on being anything serious.

She does know that he likes her, however. He's told her before and he had told her when he was busy kissing her, but she still hasn't returned the favor.

It's not like it's a big commitment, though. It's not like he tells her that he loves her or anything. He just reminds her that he likes her and she just offers him a smile, not saying anything. Sometimes she can camouflage her fear of telling him the truth with a laugh, or more recently with a kiss, but she knows that it can't stay that way forever. She's not the type to string someone along and make them feel horrible.

"It's just that I know you would be upset if you found out that Finn got with some girl back home, or whatever." Kurt looks at Rachel and takes her hands in his own, squeezing them softly. She looks down at the ground and Kurt sighs, pulling her in for a hug.

"Just let me figure this out on my own, okay?" She rests her chin on his shoulder and feels tears begin to spring to her eyes, but she blinks them away before Kurt can see a trace of them.

And she knows that everything will work out in the end. It has to. She and Finn have this invisible tether that's supposed to connect them forever, and no matter how many times it gets twisted or frays slightly, it should still be there, no matter what.

She's positive.

**xviii.**

She's only been in one real relationship before, and the only person she's ever been this physical with is Finn. That's probably why it takes her by surprise when Brody starts doing things with her that Finn waited for years to do with her.

She decides that it's all a part of being a woman instead of a girl. She's the wind, after all. She's supposed to be ready to change at the drop of a hat.

"Wow, Rachel," he tells her, shifting over in Rachel's bed. He lies next to her and catches his breath, watching as she scrambles across the mattress and slips beneath the fluffy, pink comforter that covers her bed. "You're… _wow._"

She lets the words wash over her like they're nothing and laughs sweetly, pulling the comforter over him. She turns over on the bed and looks at him, smiling as she rests her head against her pillow.

"Well, you weren't that bad yourself," she says, regretting what she says the second she says it. It's something she used to say to Finn to be funny, only because she had said it one night after they were done having sex and he had laughed about it.

She breaks out in a blush and bites down on her lip, giggling. She wants to hide her face from him and she's embarrassed; only trying to hide herself from him. "I'm sorry," she apologizes, her voice breaking through her laughter. "That was embarrassing."

Brody smiles and moves in so that he's closer to her, his hands grabbing her by the waist. "Don't," he tells her, brushing her hair from her eyes. Her bangs stick to her forehead with a light sheen of sweat and she smiles, tipping her head down as she's unable to look him in the eyes.

He moves a hand up to her face and tips her head up from her chin. He can hear her breath catch in her throat and it makes him smile. He moves in closer to her and she feels her heart want to leap out of her chest. Part of her is telling herself to leave now, or at least tell Brody to leave. She's already done the deed and she can't erase that, but she can end it before it grows into something that she doesn't know if she wants yet.

"Rachel, I think you're amazing," he tells her, holding her close to him. She hiccups slightly and looks up at him, trying her best to hide her smile from him. "You just get flustered all of the time, huh?" She laughs softly and places her hands on his shoulders, enjoying the feeling of his body against hers.

Whether it's Finn or not, she does miss the feeling of lying in bed with someone. She misses the hands through her hair and on her waist, fingers fitting into the grooves her ribs leave in her side. She doesn't think of Finn when she's with Brody, however.

She doesn't think about what Kurt would tell her about how much Finn loves her and how she's supposed to wait out this storm that's just supposed to be a small upset in their relationship.

All she thinks about is the tangled limbs and chaste kisses that she gets when she's with Brody, and she's happy.

She smiles and her nose scrunches up on her face, forcing herself out of Brody's arms and throwing herself around so that she's straddling his waist. She leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead, giggling sweetly.

"I can't help it if that's the way you make me feel," she says, her voice soft and in a whisper, like she's telling a secret in an empty apartment. She shifts herself on top of him for a moment and giggles.

"Kurt's not supposed to be home until late tonight," she says, tracing a finger down his chest. "Do you want to stay?"

She watches him as he smiles and grabs her by the waist once more, squeezing a squeal out of her when she feels his hands against her skin.

"As long as you promise that he won't come in on us again."

Rachel smiles and bursts into a fit of giggles as she feels Brody's hands wrap around her again and throw her the bed. She knows that what she's doing is wrong, in a sense, but it doesn't feel wrong. It shouldn't feel wrong to be with someone while she's enjoying herself, anyway.

She's changing, after all. She's like the wind; changing everything in her path.

**xix.**

Santana and Brittany have made up. Well, not made up, but they've been having a ton of sex lately and Finn knows when he talks to Santana that their relationship is actually fairing just fine. He just knows that Santana had been worried about it falling apart earlier in the year.

Back when he and Rachel had been having their problems. Santana's fixed her relationship with Brittany and they're better than they've ever been.

He hates the winter. It makes everything die and snow and ice make the ground hard. The air turns raw and he can see his breath in front of his face while he speaks, which, you know, isn't as cool now as it was when he was eight.

Rachel's birthday is in the winter. Not technically, or at least not according to the solstice or whatever, but her birthday is in the winter. That and it's exactly a week before Christmas, no matter what year it is.

He wonders if she's coming home for the holidays, because he wants to see her. He wants to hear her sing along to the Christmas songs on the radio in the car and he wants to laugh at her for getting whipped cream on her nose when she takes too big of a sip of her hot chocolate.

He wonders if she still has the cat sweater with the kitten wearing the Santa hat on it, and if she still wears it.

Finn spends most of his time with Santana now. She goes to school not too far away and now that it's Christmastime, she's back at home (and spending most of her time with Brittany, he might add). They go out to get coffee on the days he has off from the music store and she tries to convince him to get a real job.

"Why don't you just do what Kurt did," she suggests one afternoon. "Go out there and find a job and an apartment."

He sighs but doesn't let the though mill over in his head. He won't go to New York because he's afraid that he'll run into Rachel. A city of millions of people but with his luck, finding Rachel would be easier than ever.

"Do you even talk to her?" Santana asks him. She looks upset when he tips his head up to look at her.

"Not really. We normally just like each other's Facebook statuses." Santana sighs. Her blood red fingernails drum against the wood of the table. "Look, I don't want to get all Dr. Phil on you guys or whatever, but did you ever think that maybe you guys have run your course?"

Finn swallows thickly and tries his best to continue to look at Santana. "Well, I mean, that's why we're doing what we're doing now, and it's-"

"Not working," Santana interrupts. "Finn, you pushed her away from you. It's your job to go and bring her back."

**xx.**

"I don't see why you're doing this," Rachel says. He has his hands over her eyes and he's guiding her from behind to make sure that she doesn't hurt herself. She giggles and he squeezes her arm gently, making her jump slightly.

She's asked that her dads fly over to see her for the holiday. It's cheaper, and she's always wanted to see New York at Christmas, whether she celebrates the holiday or not.

Brody moves so that he's standing in front of her, her hands wrapped up in his. "No cheating," he reminds her, making her fidget up and down, eyes pinched shut. She bounces on the balls of her feet, her socks slipping the hardwood floor of Brody's apartment.

He has a place that's much nicer than hers and Kurt's, but she figures that it would be as such. He's been on Broadway, after all.

She feels him walk behind her once more and grab her around the waist, making her stomach twist into a knot.

"You can open your eyes," he tells her, dropping his hands from her waist.

She opens her eyes and almost chokes as she catches her breath.

In front of her is a Christmas tree – not a giant Christmas tree or anything special, but bigger than the one Charlie Brown tries to dress up in that one Christmas special she never really watched as a little girl. There's tinsel and ornaments and glitter all over the apartment, and he's made it look like a snapshot from some happy, stereotypical Christmas set up.

"I know you don't really celebrate Christmas or anything, but I figured that I could make the best of our break while we have it, right?" Rachel looks over at him as he crosses in front of her and she doesn't know what to say. For once, she's lost for words.

Brody bends down under the tree and pulls out a small box and Rachel feels her face flush, stuck in total shock. She doesn't know whether or not she was supposed to be getting him a present, or if he's doing it just because he feels like buying her a present, and he really should know that it's probably against some Jewish law to accept gifts for Christmas (or at least she thinks there is), and everything's just moving _too fast_.

She doesn't even know if she and Brody are a thing, really. She keeps on telling herself that being in a relationship right now would be horrible, especially because she already knows that she has Finn, but Finn hasn't really contacted her in a while.

Just liking her Facebook statuses isn't enough to cut it.

Besides, she and Brody have what most relationships have. They kiss and they go out on dates and they fuck like rabbits. That should be enough to put a name on something.

"You really didn't have to get me anything," she tells him through her giggles, but Brody just looks at her with the same smile that she had fallen for on her first day of classes and she starts to blush, feeling her face heat up.

"Of course I did," he protests, handing her the box. "Besides, your dads aren't going to get you anything, are they?"

She decides not to mention their track record of buying her everything she's ever wanted for every birthday and Hanukkah from the Barbie cruise ship to the earrings from Tiffany and Company that she had eyed for two years. Brody's not worth that can of worms that's going to be opened soon enough.

She feels him look at the small box in her hands and she swallows thickly, knowing that it's not just any box. Big presents come in small boxes; any girl knows that.

There's a deep fear in her stomach that there's a ring in the box. She doesn't want that problem again. It reminds her of Finn and how they had tried so hard to make everything work, and inevitably, it crumbled to pieces.

She doesn't want that with Brody. She doesn't want that with anyone. At least not now.

Brody starts to laugh as he looks at her, an eager smile on his face. "You can open it, you know. It's not like it's going to hurt you or anything." He laughs and Rachel starts to smile with him, rubbing her legs together nervously.

Her fingers pry the box open and she sighs deeply, eyes pinched shut before she's able to see inside.

Two tickets to _Evita_ and a Post-It note that says 'Merry Christmas, Rachel!' in Brody's handwriting on it.

It's Broadway. She's relieved, and it's Broadway.

"Brody," she starts, her words becoming faster and her voice pitching up a few decibels. "Thank you." She runs over to him and giggles, attacking him in an embrace.

She hears him start to laugh and pulls away from him, crooking an eyebrow in the air. "What is it?"

He runs a hand through his hair nervously and smiles, laughing as he speaks. "There's more to your present."

She looks back in the box and feels her heart begin to race again as she lifts the tickets from the box.

Underneath is a sparkling, silver necklace.

She chokes on her words and she sees Brody walk up to her, taking the box from her hands and removing the necklace. He undoes the clasp from the cardboard post (she does her best to ignore the Tiffany blue label) and starts to walk behind her, pulling her hair away from her shoulders so he can put the necklace on her.

"I thought that getting you the tickets wouldn't be enough," he tells her, his fingers pressing against her neck. "I know that someday you'll be the headliner in _Evita_ and it's going to be your name printed on the tickets, but I figured I would surprise you with something a bit more permanent than just one night, right?"

She doesn't know what to say, or even if she's supposed to say anything. She's never had a boy make such an outward gesture towards her of how much they like her.

Besides Finn, of course, but she's tried to block that from her memory. If they're starting fresh they might as well forget the past, right?

Her fingers touch the diamond pendant that hangs between her collar and she gasps silently, tracing the initial of his first name against her skin.

She turns around and nearly falls into his arms after not realizing how close they are to one another. He catches her and she blushes furiously, looking down at her feet to not have to look him in the eyes.

Brody tips her head back up so he can look at her, placing his hands on either side of her waist.

"I guess I'm asking you to be my girlfriend," he says, his voice almost bitter as he laughs at himself. She shifts in his arms and stands closer to him, her feet nearly on top of his. He brushes a stray lock of hair from her face and tucks it behind her ear gently before his hands returns back to her waist.

She watches him as he laughs at her and she tips her head to the side, making his smile broader.

He looks nervous, and Rachel can tell. She's always prided herself on reading people well.

"I guess this is just my weird way of asking you."

She shakes her head slightly and stands up on her toes, kissing him soundly on the lips. She feels like Allie in _The Notebook_, only her legs aren't wrapped around his waist and they're in his decorated apartment instead of the pouring rain.

"I'd love to," she says as she pulls away from him, her arms thrown over his shoulders.

**xxi.**

Kurt doesn't need to know about her and Brody. All he knows is that she's going to Times Square for New Year's Eve and that Brody's going, just because he's in the same circle of friends that she's going with, but he doesn't know that she and Brody are an official thing.

The word 'boyfriend' doesn't sit well with her anymore, anyway. She's not a little girl, and he's certainly not a boy, but she calls him her boyfriend.

Sometimes, she wonders how Finn's doing. He hasn't tried to contact her directly since they've broken up, and since that had been the main reason why she had broken up with him, she writes it off as Finn not learning his lesson.

If he wants her, he can have her. He just has to take the initiative.

**xxii.**

"So you're actually going to push your way through millions of tourists just to get the chance to maybe see the ball drop?" Rachel rolls her eyes and looks at Kurt through the mirror, teasing her hair and paying more attention to what she looks like rather than what Kurt is saying. "That certainly doesn't sound like that Rachel Berry I know."

She rolls her eyes and smacks her lips together, staring at herself in the mirror before turning around. "It's New York, Kurt." She tousles her hair before turning around to look at him. "I think that as long as I'm here, I might as well go to Times Square for New Year's Eve at least once."

Kurt rolls his eyes and takes in the image of Rachel in the dress she's planning on wearing; a tight, slinky black number that shouldn't even be allowed to be called a dress it's so short, paired with these heels that Kurt knows she'll be complaining about standing in all night come tomorrow morning and nylons that are paper thin. Her hair and makeup make her look like she's ready for some shoot for a music video, but she looks great, which is always half the battle when it comes to Rachel. He's done a great job in that department.

"Well, I'll be enjoying the ball drop from my job, thank you very much." He watches her as she stuffs her purse with things she needs for the night and when she runs out of room she moves to her bra, sticking things down the top of her dress.

Clearly, Santana's been more of an influence on Rachel than he would have thought.

She turns over her shoulder and looks at Kurt with a smile, walking towards the door.

He's so clueless that it doesn't even matter anymore.

**xxiii.**

Santana toasts Finn as they watch the ball drop on the television screen, but her attention is quickly drawn away from him as Brittany attacks her in a flurry of kisses. She nearly spills her champagne on his shoes and he sighs, staring at the television screen numbly.

He wonders if Rachel is watching the ball drop in real time, like if she's in Times Square with Kurt and they're watching the ball drop together.

Santana pulls out of her kiss with Brittany only to see Finn staring blankly at the television screen and she groans, scooting over on the couch to sit closer to him. "I'm sick of this," she tells him, slapping her hand on the couch. She's on her third champagne flute so she's buzzed, but not enough to start crying all over him.

"You're just acting this way because you miss Rachel and you want to be with her again," she tells him. At least she's point blank with him about it. It's enough to snap him out of his daze and he looks at Santana, who looks like she's upset with him. "And I know you're not an asshat and just miss her because you miss fucking her, or whatever." Brittany's listening in on the conversation now. "You miss her because you miss her."

Finn looks at Santana and sighs. "So, what, you're saying I should just move out to New York, Santana? I don't have a job. I don't have anywhere to live out there."

Santana crosses her arms over her shoulders and slouches back onto the couch.

"If you love her, then you'll go find her." Santana turns over her shoulder and looks at Brittany, who's smiling. "I mean, Santana's right, Finn. Santana loves me, and she came back for me. You need to go back for Rachel."

He leans back on the couch and sighs, fingers rubbing over his champagne flute nervously. He thinks about Rachel a lot – probably more than he should. They're really not anything anymore, no matter how much he wants to think that they are. He'd like to think that she's just sitting in her apartment, waiting for him to show up. Rachel's the type that he pictures wearing a chastity belt as she waits for him to come back to her, but he knows that's not the case.

Maybe she's not with anyone, but she's certainly not waiting for him. If she had been waiting for him, she would have tried to talk to him, or at least mailed him a letter. She knows what his address is. Neither of them have really bothered to contact one another.

"How am I supposed to just drop everything and go to New York?" He asks, Santana and Brittany looking at him. "I mean, I don't have that much money. And isn't New York the most expensive city in the world?"

Santana rolls her eyes and turns to face him. "You're sitting on like, shit tons of money from your job at the tire shop. And there's like, tons of jobs there. You could go work at McDonald's or something."

Brittany smiles and adjusts herself on the couch. "Yeah, or a firefighter."

He lets the idea sink in and looks at Brittany, smiling slightly. He could get used to the idea of being a firefighter. He knows that there's tons of training that you have to go through to be a firefighter, but one of his cousins' is a firefighter. Every time he comes home for Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter he's always talking about how great he feels after the fact that he's just saved five people from a burning building or that he's rescued some old lady's cat from her apartment that was on fire.

It seems like he could actually do something like that. That feeling of being worth something and actually helping people would probably help him in some way.

Rachel would always tell him that helping other people was just like helping yourself. If you felt good after helping someone else, it worked like therapy, in a weird way. Finn knows that it would benefit him to be a firefighter, or at least something else that would mean he would be helping others.

He's going to be a firefighter.

**xxiv.**

It gets colder in New York than she's used to. She has to go out and buy a new coat because she hasn't expected the ice and the snow and the sleet that the lake effect brings down on the city. It's like her sparkling New York City gets covered in snow and she doesn't know whether or not she likes it yet. She's never seen so much snow in her entire life.

January is a dull and boring month. School becomes more difficult and the excitement of Christmas and the new year have long gone away.

She still has Brody. She isn't living with him or anything, so it's not like they're incredibly serious or anything. She and Kurt are still living together.

Kurt and Blaine have managed to work things out. They don't see each other in person very often, but they have Skype dates almost every other day. Kurt tells her that they're putting forth a real effort to keep their relationship running, and every time he mentions it a bitter smile turns up on her face.

It's not like she's proud about leaving Finn behind. But it's January, and it's a new calendar year, and he hasn't really said anything to her. She decides that it's enough to stop trying. She has a boyfriend and she's living in the greatest city in the entire world. She can't possibly be upset.

**xxv.**

It dumps snow on Valentine's Day. It's like the entire city gets covered in snow and time freezes.

Their classes get cancelled for the day and Rachel manages to make it over to Brody's apartment through the snow. She kicks the excess snow off from her boots upon walking inside and he picks her up in his arms, knocking her earmuffs off of her head as he threads his fingers through her hair.

Brody lets her change into one of his sweatshirts and she pulls off her turtleneck and skirt and lets the sweatshirt hang down to her knees, her fleece tights covering her legs. He has the heat turned off in his apartment and she pulls the quilt down from his couch and the two of them sit underneath it. All of the lights are turned off and she rests her head against his chest, his arms wrapped around her and holding her close.

It still doesn't feel the same being in Brody's arms as it did with Finn. She's been his actual girlfriend for about a month now, and they still feel stale compared to how she had been with Finn. They hold hands when they go out in public and he kisses her whenever he feels like it and she feels loved, she really does.

It just doesn't feel the same.

She sighs against his chest and burrows herself beneath the blanket even more and she can feel his chest heave up and down as he laughs at her, his hand finding hers beneath the blanket.

"You alright?"

She tips her head up and looks at him, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah," she says, snapping out of her daze, her eyes meeting his. "It's just cold, that's all." And it is, after all. She grabs the blanket from him and she smiles, throwing her legs into his lap, bringing herself closer to him.

"I can't spend the night tonight," she tells him quietly. She needs to go help Kurt heat the apartment, seeing as they were unable to pay their heating bill this month. "Kurt wants to watch a movie with me."

"Don't you see him enough?" Brody grabs her by the arm and pulls her back onto the couch, making her laugh. "You live with him, Rach."

She hasn't gotten used to the fact that he calls her Rach yet. Not even her dads call her Rach. It's a name that seems to be reserved by Finn, and part of her wants it to stay that name.

There have to be plenty of nicknames that he can come up with, anyway. The name Rachel isn't too complicated of a name to begin with.

Rachel smiles and leans in to kiss Brody soundly on the lips. They're warm against her cold lips and she smiles, kissing him back as he kisses her. His hands snake around her waist and she knows what he's doing because he's done it before and it's worked.

She's told him that she's going to leave and he kisses her and she kisses him back and before she knows it she's got her shirt over her head and she's spent the night with him and she's stuck explaining to Kurt the next morning that she just spent the night back at someone's dorm because it was too late for her to walk back to the apartment at night.

Kurt buys it most of the time. She tells him that she's very cute and very alone and walking alone on the streets (especially near their apartment) is a horrible idea, to which he agrees with.

"Just stay for a little while longer," he begs, stroking her hair as he looks at her. Rachel bites down on her lip and smiles at him sweetly, leaning back in to kiss him on the cheek again.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she promises him with a kiss as she climbs out of his lap. She grabs her purse from the chair in the corner and slings it over her shoulder, looking back at him with a smile.

"I love you," he tells her, his voice quiet, yet echoing in the otherwise silent apartment.

Rachel looks at him, her face flushing. She begins to worry her keys in her hand and bites down on her lip, eyes diverting away from him.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she says again, just barely loud enough for him to hear it. She's out the door before he can say anything else.

**xxvi.**

Rachel gets into this cabaret show at the beginning of February. It's more of a showcase than an actual show, but she gets to sing in front of a big group of New Yorkers in the city she's always wanted to sing in. She works with Kurt to pick out which songs she wants to sing there because she feels that if anyone would know, Kurt would.

"What about that one song you sang our senior year?" He asks, paging through her enormous collection sheet music that she keeps in her bedroom. "The Roberta Flack song?"

Rachel feels her hands go numb at Kurt's suggestion. She doesn't want to sing that song, because the first time she sang it, she had sung it about Finn. She doesn't want to think about Finn anymore. He's clearly not a part of her life, and she doesn't have to think about him or talk about him if she doesn't want to.

"No," she says, trying to come up with a good enough lie that Kurt will believe. "That's not… just no. I don't think that will sit the best in my voice right now."

Kurt looks at her, confused. This isn't the normal Rachel that he's used to. She always ready to sing anything as long as there's an audience and people that want to hear her.

"I'm just going to sing something from _Les Mis _and then a Celine Dion number," she says, doing her best to ignore Kurt's prodding. Ever since he's fixed everything with Blaine, he's more and more interested about Rachel and Finn and getting them back together. Finn is his stepbrother, anyway. He actually does have a right to care.

Kurt watches Rachel as she shuffles through the sheet music nervously, mumbling to herself. "Rachel," he starts, watching her carefully.

"And a Barbra song, of course…"

Kurt places a hand on top of Rachel's, stopping her in her tracks. "Rachel, stop," he tells her, his voice stern. "What's the matter with you lately? All you can talk about is singing at the cabaret and every time someone does so much as say the first syllable of Finn's name in conversation your eyes get huge and you look like a deer that's about to be hit by a car," he explains to her delicately. "I just want to know if everything's okay," he tells her.

She looks down at her hands and tries her best not to look at Kurt. It feels like her entire world is falling down around her, and all she wants it to do is stop.

"I'm fine," she tells him, sniffling slightly. She hopes that Kurt will pass it off as a cold instead of her tears. "Really, Kurt, I promise. I've never been better."

Kurt looks at Rachel and takes her by the hand, leaning into her for a hug. "I love you, Rachel," he tells her as he rests his chin on her shoulder. "All I want is the best for you."

**xxv.**

Finn likes being a firefighter. It's actually kind of cool and they don't make him do huge jobs yet because he's so new to the job, but he's all trained in the ways of being firefighter and he's been through all of the physical stuff too, which has made him fill out completely. He doesn't look the same way he did in high school anymore.

It's the only part that would make him somewhat excited if he ran into Rachel, just so she could see him now with his new physique and his t shirt that has FDNY written across it.

For the first time he feels like he's found something that he's good at, and he's happy to have found it. He still thinks about Rachel from time to time, but she isn't the first thing on his mind anymore.

He's in New York, and he feels like how he thought Rachel had felt when she first got here. The world is right in front of him, and all he has to do is reach for it.

**xxvi.**

Santana ends up having to come to New York for some game she's cheering at, and since it's around Valentine's Day, she brings Brittany along for the trip.

And since Santana and Brittany are both going, Blaine decides that he's going to surprise Kurt for Valentine's Day.

All Finn wants to do lately is go out to lunch with Kurt, mainly because he hasn't seen him in so long. He had to stay in New York over Christmas because of his job and since his family couldn't afford to fly out to see him, they all just had a giant Skype date on Christmas morning with him, but it isn't enough. He wants to hug Kurt and take him out to dinner or lunch and just talk to him.

The only thing standing in his way is Rachel.

He's afraid that she'll come up in conversation if he starts spending time with Kurt, mainly because she's his roommate. Finn would assume that most of the fun events that happen in Kurt's life either have something to do with Rachel or Rachel had been involved in them in some way. Besides, Rachel's a funny girl. She's easy to make memories with. He would know, after all.

After Santana and Brittany and Blaine arrive in the city, the three invite Finn and Kurt out for dinner one night.

(Santana's the one who doesn't want to invite Rachel. She figures it would cause too much pain for Finn and she tells Kurt not to tell her anything about it.)

Besides, not having Rachel tag along means that they don't have to find some restaurant that will cater to her vegan diet. It's much easier for everyone all around.

"So you and Blaine need to get married before you lose your job at this fashion hot spot," Santana says to Kurt as she dips a French fry in the puddle of ketchup she's spilled on her plate. "I mean, you can tie the knot in Central Park with your matching Vera Wang wedding dresses and then enjoy your firs night as a married couple with some studded DKNY riding crop. Wanky."

The table begins to laugh and Kurt rolls his eyes, grabbing Blaine's hand from underneath the table and giving it a squeeze. "God, I've missed you," he says, laughing as he looks at Finn.

He's more interested in talking to Finn than anyone else. Everyone is.

"So, what's being a fire fighter like?" He asks, the entire table falling silent and looking at him. Kurt hasn't really talked to Finn since he and Rachel had finished running their course. "I mean, is it dangerous, or do you have to worry about your eyebrows getting fried off every time you go to work, or-"

"Oh, please," Santana interrupts, looking up from her plate at Finn. "You just don't want to talk about the giant, five-foot elephant in the room," she explains. "It's Rachel, isn't it?"

The entire table goes silent and Santana narrows her eyes, not bothering to break her gaze from Finn.

"You haven't talked to her since you've gotten here, have you?" Brittany looks at Santana and Blaine looks at Kurt, the nerves palpable at the table.

Kurt looks at Santana, biting down on his lip. "Santana, you shouldn't-"

"No, I want to know. Have you talked to her at all?" She doesn't sound angry and instead sounds more concerned as she speaks to him. "I mean, you told me that you haven't talked to her at all since you guys had your argument or whatever, but you haven't talked to her at all since you've gotten here?"

Finn looks at Kurt and sighs, making a face. "I don't really think Rachel wants to talk to me," he says, almost bitterly. "I mean, we haven't really talked since we had that fight, and I don't really think she wants to talk to me." He sighs and lets his words sink in, hurting more than he expects them to. The fact that he hasn't seen Rachel or talked to her since the fall isn't exactly the best feeling in the world.

"Does she even know that you're here?"

Blaine looks at Kurt, who looks down into his lap nervously.

"I don't think she does," he says. She shouldn't, anyway. He hasn't said anything to her about it, mainly because he just hasn't talked to her in what seems like forever. It probably wouldn't be the greatest idea to talk to her for the first time in three months by telling her that he was here, in New York.

Before anyone can say anything to change the subject, Santana breaks the silence.

"Kurt," she says, reaching across the table. "Where's Rachel tonight?"

"Santana, I really don't think that we should be-"

"No, I want to know. Like, just because I haven't seen her since graduation day." The group remains quiet, Kurt looking at Finn sympathetically. "And, I mean, maybe it would be fun to see her. For Finn's sake."

Kurt clears his throat and looks down at his plate, cocking his head. "She's singing at some cabaret tonight. There's still time, if you want to see her. She hasn't gone on yet."

Santana opens her mouth to speak, but she's cut off before she can say anything.

"Yeah," Finn says, agreeing with Kurt, a smile on his face. "Let's go."

**xxvii.**

They show up late and there aren't any more seats in the bar, so the group stands against the back wall, Santana nursing a new drink that she's gotten at the bar.

"What?" She asks, looking at Kurt as he rolls his eyes at her. "I can't use my fake ID that often at school. Besides, it's pink. It's in honor of seeing Berry again for the first time in a million years."

Finn sighs and smiles softly at Santana as she continues to sip from her pink martini. It's probably what Rachel drinks now, even though she's a year older and she lives in this giant city where she's supposed to be all mature and everything.

He's sure that she's still the way she's always been, and it's the one thing that keeps him hopeful about seeing her again.

There's this beat after this one girl is done singing, and she's really not that good and Kurt tells Finn that Rachel told him that she's only singing here because she sleeps with the director of the cabaret, and Finn laughs, because he can hear Rachel saying those exact words, and he misses her voice.

He's excited to hear her sing after so long. He hasn't heard her sing since last year, when they were in school.

"Oh, here she comes," Kurt says with a smile, grabbing Blaine by the hand.

Finn feels his heartbeat begin to run away from him as she walks out on the stage.

The piano twitters in the background and she smiles at everyone, enjoying the small smattering of applause that she receives. Santana offers a loud cheer from the back, her drink already starting to inebriate her for the night.

"Hi," Rachel says, taking the microphone from the stand and fidgeting with the cord that trails across the small stage. She looks really nice; dressed in a sparkly, low cut white tunic that cinches at the waist and black leggings that make her legs look long, and these shiny red heels that make her legs look even longer.

She's changed a lot more than he's thought she has. She was right when she had told him that she wasn't a little girl anymore. Rachel's grown into a beautiful woman, and she's not his anymore.

"Um, my name's Rachel Berry, and it's really great to be here tonight," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear. She looks stunning and Finn starts to smile, even though she can't see him.

Or maybe she can, and that's why she seems so tongue tied.

She doesn't talk much while she sings her first few songs, and Finn smiles throughout the entire thing, because they're all songs that he knows she's happy about singing. She leans against the piano while she sings some sultry sounding song from what he assumes is a musical, just because she looks so happy when she sings it.

Kurt applauds and Santana maintains her drunken stupor from the back of the room, hooting louder when Rachel begins to sing some song from what Kurt later explains is from _Evita_, but she's singing about how she's a star or something, and Finn smiles.

He hasn't seen her this happy in for what seems like forever.

Her set begins to wrap up and the piano slows down, Rachel walking towards the front of the stage. Her expression drops and she looks more upset than she has all night, adjusting her hair before speaking.

"Um, this last song is for someone who couldn't be here tonight," she begins, fidgeting with the microphone cord nervously. "This past fall, I thought I was in love with the best man in the entire world."

Finn tries to hide his surprise and leans against the wall, feeling his face flush.

"And today, I'm still in love with that same man," she says, her fingers toying with the hem of her blouse. "But he's not here anymore, and I don't know if he's ever going to be here again. So this song is for him."

Finn feels his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as Rachel clears her throat before she begins singing, the piano beginning the prelude of her song.

She starts singing the first bars of the one song he thinks is the most beautiful song he's ever heard her sing.

Kurt's eyes go wide and he squeezes Blaine's hand, looking at Finn.

"I knew she was going to sing some Barbra Streisand song, Finn, but I didn't know-"

Finn doesn't say anything in return and just watches her as she sings, feeling his stomach twist into a knot. He's heard her sing Barbra Streisand's rendition of My Man probably hundreds of times, but none of them have ever sounded the way she sounds tonight, so overcome with emotion.

She sounds better than he's ever heard her sound before.

And then when she tips her head up and pinches her eyes shut to sing that final note that he knows sends chills down his spine, she doesn't. Her eyes end up in the audience and they fall on him, and in that moment, he knows she knows.

She sees him and he watches her react and he feels like he's done something horribly wrong for a moment. She shudders and her eyes go wide and he hears her choke up for a moment, but she manages to sing the final note of her song, sending the audience into a frenzy of cheers and applause.

But her eyes don't look away from him. She stares at him but she doesn't smile, singing the song that's always been about him in the first place.

**xxviii.**

It pours rain on Valentine's Day. It doesn't make for a romantic day, but she doesn't expect it to be a romantic day. Brody's asked her out for dinner and she's going, but she doesn't know how to feel about anything anymore.

She's numb and doesn't feel anything anymore, and she figures that it should be that way. She and Kurt don't see one another anymore, and they rarely speak to one another even when they do. Blaine's already gone and Kurt doesn't say anything to Rachel anymore, afraid that she'll start to cry or confront him about something.

Their apartment stays quiet for the most part. Showers and radios in the morning are really the only noises that fill the loft.

Brody brings her to Sardi's on Valentine's Day. She would normally be ecstatic, seeing as it's her favorite restaurant in the entire city, but it's not the same this time. She knows that somewhere in city is Finn – her Finn, the one who never bothered to hold on to her and the one she never bothered to hold on to.

She tries to forget about it as best she can. She puts on her favorite dress and makes her hair look like someone's from a magazine cutout and presses her hand to her necklace the entire subway ride over to the restaurant, hoping that it will keep her mind off of things.

She has someone else who loves her and who won't make her worry that they're going to leave her all of the time. She shouldn't have to worry about Finn anymore.

**xxix.**

She comes back from her date in tears and Finn's in her apartment, sitting on the couch and watching some basketball game.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, sniffling. She doesn't want him to see her crying. Not now, anyway.

Finn turns over to look at her, surprised at seeing her standing in the doorway. She looks like she's been crying, and he can tell that she's trying to hard it.

"Rachel, I-" He stops, getting off of the couch and walking up towards her. He extends a hand out towards her but she shies away from it, crossing her arms over her chest and hugging herself. "Y-you look beautiful," he tells her, looking at her in her dress. It's different in that it's not something he would ever expect her to wear, but it's still beautiful, probably because she's the one wearing it.

She walks past him and sets her bouquet of flowers on the kitchen counter, leaning against it with a heavy sigh. "Brody proposed to me tonight," she says looking down at the floor. She speaks like she's talking to the ground instead of him. "He brought me to Sardi's and when I got there, it felt like everything was different, but I didn't think he was actually going to _propose_."

His mouth hangs open slightly as he looks at her. Kurt's told him about how she and Brody are a thing now after he had seen her sing, but he never would have guessed that they were serious enough for him to propose to her.

"Rachel, that's great," he says, swallowing back his bitterness. "I'm sure you'll be really happy with him."

"I don't want to marry Brody," she tells him, looking back up at him. Tears well in her eyes and she sniffles, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve. "I don't want to marry anyone."

His stomach ties itself in a knot and he shoves his hands in his pockets. He's so used to holding Rachel in his arms or at least have her hand in his while he's talking to her, and now that he's not, he doesn't really know what to do with himself.

"Any guy that gets to marry you is a really lucky guy," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "You're a beautiful girl, Rach."

She smirks bitterly and bobs her head to acknowledge him. "You're just saying that," she says, her laugh bitter. "Besides, you're one to talk about wanting to stay with someone, aren't you?" He crosses her arms across her chest and she's upset, finally finding the courage to look him in the eye. "You didn't even bother to talk to me after we had broken up, and then you magically show up at the show I'm singing at and you-"

She stops, catching her breath for a moment. She's furious. "And you don't even say anything to me after that," she says, starting to cry. "You can't just run in and out of my life, Finn. That's not how it works."

"Not how what works?" He asks her, raising his voice. "Rachel, I don't understand how you think that all of this is supposed to work," he tells her, running a hand through his hair. "You're clearly really happy with Brody, or whatever his name is, and I wouldn't want to wreck whatever it is you two have going for you." He backs up and starts to walk towards the door, turning around one last time to look at her. "I hope you guys make it work."

She blinks back her tears as she notices the sincerity in his voice.

"I hope you and Brody live happily ever after. Really, I do. I'll catch you around, okay?"

She sniffles and her mouth hangs open as she watches him begin to walk out of the door, but she stops him.

She starts running up behind him and nearly tripping over herself in her heels and collides into him from behind, her hands finding purchase on his shoulders.

She pulls him in for a kiss and he kisses her back, and she's never felt better. She misses this.

More importantly, she misses him.

**xxx.**

He lets her stand in front of him and his hands tremble as he takes the buttons of her dress in his hands. He's never seen a dress this difficult to undo, but its Rachel, so it's expected.

Her skin feels cold against his skin and he feels her shiver as he touches her, making him duck his head down to press a kiss to the back of her neck.

The buttons become undone and the dress is peeled away from her, Finn moving his hands to push the fabric down her shoulders and away from her back. She isn't wearing a bra and he places his hands on either side of her waist, pushing her dress down until it pools around her ankles.

She turns around to face him and she stands in front of him like he's supposed to just stare at her, her eyes looking into his and not bothering to look away.

He mumbles something under his breath about how beautiful she is and she just smiles, stepping out of her dress and walking up towards him, leaning in for a kiss as his arms wrap around her narrow waist, pulling her closer and nuzzling into her neck.

By the time they fall on her bed together all of their clothes are on the ground and she's underneath him, feeling his knee pressed in between her legs and his forehead pressed against hers and she's kissing him, really kissing him and hoping that all of her pain will go away if she just does this with him one last time.

For all she knows, it's the last she'll ever be able to be this close with Finn.

"I love you," she tells him between kisses, her hand falling on one side of his face.

He moves slightly and slides into her and her breath catches as she stares at him, eyes wide.

"I love you too, baby girl," he says, bending down to kiss her once more. "I love you so much."

**xxxi.**

She tells Brody that she and Finn slept together.

At first it seems like a really good idea, because she doesn't want to break Brody's heart intentionally, but she figures that it's a perfect way to reiterate the fact that she's not ready to get married to anyone. Not just yet.

"Wow," he says, wiping his forehead with his hand. He seems much calmer about it than she had originally imagined he would be. "You're still crazy about him, huh?"

She quirks an eyebrow and frowns slightly. "You're not upset?"

Brody smiles and laughs bitterly, grabbing her hands from across the table. "I mean, yeah, I'm upset, but… if being with me isn't what makes you happy, Rachel, then I shouldn't be with you. I wouldn't want to wreck you just to make myself feel better."

She smiles slightly and gives his hand a squeeze before letting go, placing her hands back in her lap. "You're very admirable for doing that," she tells him, her voice soft. She lets her hands move up behind her head and reaches for the clasp of her necklace, undoing it slowly and placing it on the table in front of Brody.

"I want you to give this to someone who loves you," she tells him, her smile still there. "And when you do I want you to invite me your wedding, because I can't wait until the day I get to see you at your happiest." She stands up from her chair and pushes it into the table slowly, Brody standing up with her.

He grabs her by the waist and she turns in to him, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I'll see you around, right?"

She laughs and kisses him back once more, walking away from him.

"At your wedding, remember?"

**xxxii.**

She and Finn are trying to fix things. It's like a burn that has to heal, or a patient with amnesia. Everything old is new again.

She asks him what it's like being a firefighter and he tells her that it's scary, but it's not so scary that he thinks that anything horrible is going to happen to him someday or anything. The suit he wears is thick enough to protect him from some insane temperature that Rachel doesn't remember, but she feels like an army wife, the way he's a firefighter now.

Every time he goes out to fight a fire, she wonders if it's the last time she's going to see him.

It's scary, but it makes it that much more worth it when he comes back home again.

**xxxiii. **

He asks Kurt about what kind of ring Rachel would want if, hypothetically, he were to propose to her again. Kurt just shakes his head and tells Finn that it would be a bad idea.

"I don't think you should ask her again," he tells him one morning over breakfast. Rachel's still asleep and lying in bed, and she's such a heavy sleeper that he's not worried about her hearing anything that they're saying. "I mean, she's been proposed to twice in her life, and she's not even twenty one yet. I always thought Rachel wanted two Tonys by the time she was this old, not two proposals."

"I know," Finn says, looking away from Kurt for a moment. He can see her lying in her bed from the angle that he's standing at in the kitchen and he smiles. She doesn't look like a polite young lady when she's asleep, that's for sure – her mouth hangs open half the time and her legs stretch out the span of the bed, normally kicking him out of the way, and she hogs the blankets when it gets really cold.

It's domestic bliss living with her, though. It makes him feel like they're already married adults and they have so much responsibility and independence, and he likes it that way.

"I just… she knows I want to marry her, y'know? And I want to marry her, so I don't see why we should wait. It's not like we have to get married right away or anything."

Kurt smiles and looks down into his coffee, sighing. "Well, you do what you want," he tells his brother, smiling. "I just wouldn't do anything extravagant or anything. You know how she gets about those kinds of things."

There's a beat of silence and the sound of feet padding into the kitchen fills the room, Finn looking up to see Rachel standing in front of them, dressed in Finn's flannel shirt and her underwear from the night before, rubbing her eyes and her hair a mess.

She holds his shirt closed tight across her chest and smiles softly at Finn and Kurt, walking over to Finn and wrapping her arms around him, her shirt falling open.

"Please, for all that is holy, close your shirt, Rachel Berry," Kurt tells her, shielding his eyes with his free hand. She looks at him and sticks her tongue out at him, pulling away from Finn and turning around so she can button up the shirt that she swims in.

"I never said that I minded," Finn says, grabbing her back around the waist and pressing a kiss to her cheek. They're slowly starting to fix themselves. It isn't easy, and there have been many a tear shed over what others might consider to be trivial little things, but that mean a lot to the two of them.

Kurt rolls his eyes and looks back down into his coffee, attempting to change the subject before Finn and Rachel start sucking face right there in front of him.

"So, um, Finn, you should totally talk to Rachel about what you were going to do with her today," he suggests, wagging his eyebrows at Finn with a smile. Rachel quirks and eyebrow and looks at Finn, a confused smile stuck to her face.

"We were going to do something today?" She asks, resting her hands against his chest as she looks up at him.

Finn shoots Kurt a look and he giggles, walking out of the kitchen and into his room. Before Finn can say anything he can hear the door close and he sighs, frustrated.

"Are we actually doing something today?" She asks him, grabbing his arm and giving it a squeeze. "I thought we would just stay home today. It's Sunday, and it's St. Patrick's Day, so everyone's going to be drunk on the streets, and-"

He cuts her off with a kiss and she giggles, pulling away from him.

Maybe proposing to Rachel the second time will be much better than the first time.

**xxxiv.**

He brings her to the zoo one day because he knows how much she loves looking at the sea otters and making faces at them through the glass and it makes him laugh too.

Besides, there aren't a lot of people at the zoo today. Proposing to her today would be awesome.

Except when he actually gets to the zoo, he realizes that he's forgotten the ring in his sock drawer at home. It's really not his fault because Rachel had dragged him out the door after learning that they were going to the zoo, and her grabbing him by the hand and running towards the subway station might have distracted him a bit.

But only a bit. Not enough for him to leave the stove on or anything.

**xxxv.**

The second time is when he goes to see her school's production of _Ragtime_. He goes with Kurt and she's fabulous in it, even if she is just in the chorus. She gets a couple of lines to say here and there and he can't help but laugh a couple of times because she's dressed in this big, poofy dress with a high neck and a bustle in the back and it's so _not _Rachel, but she's so into the character of whoever she's playing that it's fine.

They go out to dinner at this little Chinese place that Kurt and Rachel swear by and he has the box with her ring in it in his pocket, but she and Kurt look so happy and she's probably too tired to have to worry about a proposal right now.

Not that she doesn't want to be with Finn, it's just that she's just finished one of her shows and he can see how tired she is just by looking at her.

**xxxvi.**

The third time is when they're watching _Funny Girl _on the couch and Kurt's gone. Rachel's just gotten back from a pointe class and she spends all night complaining about how much her feet hurt on the other nights when she comes back from pointe class, so he gives her a massage tonight.

His ring is in his sock drawer which is just a few steps away, but he's not going to do it tonight. It's not big or extravagant enough for her.

**xxxvii.**

Rachel wakes him up in the middle of the night by climbing into bed late. She's had performances for her show all this week and she's gone out with her cast tonight.

He knows that Brody's there and he's not worried. The way those two act around each other now, no one would ever guess that they were once an item.

"Hey," she says, ruffling his hair as she pulls the comforter over her body. She's so tiny; she doesn't need much of it in comparison to Finn. She normally ends up sleeping in his arms, anyway. "Sorry I woke you up. I had to help someone get back to the dorms tonight."

Finn smiles and searches for her hand beneath the sheets. "You guys were drinking?"

Rachel giggles and turns around so that she can look up at him, feeling his arms wrap around her waist. "Well, I wasn't," she explains, "but some others were. I didn't want to have them wandering around on the streets absolutely tanked." She smiles and rubs his arms, biting down on her lip.

"You're not upset about Brody anymore, are you?"

Finn snaps out of his daze that he gets into as he looks at Rachel. "No, Rach, I'm not. I promise." He's seen him in the show along with her. He's one of the leads, even though he can't remember the name of his character. "I trust you."

She smiles and places a hand up on his shoulder, moving in close enough to him that their legs completely intertwine, their chests pressed against each other's. "I trust you too," she says, leaning up in the bed to press a kiss to his cheek. "And I love you," she tells him, rubbing his cheek with her hand. "I love you so much."

He smiles and kisses her back, their noses rubbing against each other.

And in that moment, he knows. He doesn't care if he's in a wife beater and his boxers and that she's in one of her frilly little nightgowns that he doesn't understand how she sleeps in when it's so cold outside.

He climbs out of bed and turns on the lamp on the nightstand and she's surprised as he runs over to his sock drawer and rifles around in it for a few moments, finally returning and holding something in his hand. Rachel's up on her knees in the middle of the bed, watching him as he walks towards her.

"Rach, I've been trying to do this all week," he explains, "and every time I've tried to do this it's sucked and I thought that I would have to make this giant, fancy and romantic gesture or whatever, but I don't, because the first time I did it, it was less special than this."

Rachel looks down at his hand and she knows what he's doing. Her heart feels like it's going to beat out of her chest and her mouth goes dry, unable to say anything.

She doesn't want to say anything, though. She wants to hear him and what he has to say.

"Anyway, um, the first time we tried this it really didn't work and it was messy, but I think that's just like the relationship we have with one another. I mean, it's messy and weird but we still love each other, and that's all that really matters."

He opens the box and Rachel's breath catches, loud enough for him to hear.

Inside is a ring; a thin silver band with a small heart-shaped diamond, and next to it is a necklace with the ring that he had used the first time when he had proposed to her threaded on the chain.

He notices the tears in her eyes and he takes the necklace out of the box, walking behind her with it and setting the box down on the bed.

"This is for us before," he says, moving her hair aside and clasping the necklace around her neck. She moves her hand up and touches the ring that hangs between her collarbone, sniffling and trying to keep herself from crying as best she can. "And to remind us about all of the stuff before now."

She can't help but giggle at the way he words things. He sounds like a little kid sometimes.

"And this is for the rest of our lives together," he says, reaching for the ring in the box and grabbing her hand, slipping it onto her finger. "And it's to show how we'll love each other. Forever."

She looks up at him as he finishes putting the ring on her finger, tears running down her cheeks.

"So, um… will you marry me, Rach?"

She practically jumps into him and attacks him in an embrace, kissing the side of his face and burrowing her face in the crook of his neck.

"Of course I will," she sobs, her nails digging into his back, holding on to him like she's going to float away if she doesn't hold on tight enough.

She'd marry him a thousand times over if she could.

**xxxviii.**

They have a longer engagement than expected. Rachel tells him that she wants to wait until she's done with school, just because by the time she finishes school they'll be older and she'll be able to toast with champagne at her wedding, which is something she's wanted since the first time they had dreamed of getting married.

He goes to her graduation ceremony and gets her a bouquet of flowers as her graduation present. They're trying to save every cent they have so they can possibly-maybe go on a honeymoon (at least a road trip to Niagara Falls), so he knows she won't mind. She wouldn't mind either way.

"Congratulations," he tells her, picking her up in the air when she finally gets the chance to see him. She holds on to her mortarboard and giggles, kissing him as he sets her down on the ground. "I'm so proud of you, baby girl."

She starts auditioning after she graduates and it's hard at first, but she finally gets it – she's cast as Maria in a Broadway production of _West Side Story_, and Finn thinks that its fate.

Kurt tells her that she's lucky. Most aspiring actresses don't get jobs ever, let alone for a few years. Rachel's gotten her first role (and a starring role, at that) almost a month out of college.

"She's a star," Finn argues one night at dinner. "She's my star."

**xxxix.**

Their wedding is plain and simple. It's a Sunday afternoon in June and it's in her dads' backyard in Ohio, and she wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone she knows goes and it's everything she's ever dreamt of since she was a little girl.

Marrying Finn Hudson just so happens to be the highlight of the afternoon.

"Oh, my God, you guys, Berry is the biggest liar I've ever met," Santana shouts over her table as Rachel and Finn make their rounds around the reception tables, thanking everyone for attending. "She's wearing a white dress and you and everyone else in this yard knows that she and the Green Giant got all sorts of wanky back in high school."

Rachel blushes and Finn laughs. Santana's clearly had too much to drink.

She's invited Brody to the affair, and he comes, his girlfriend on his arm. Her name is Katie and she's beautiful and she congratulates Rachel for her newly-tied nuptials.

The first thing Rachel notices is the same necklace Brody had bought for her around Katie's neck, and she can't help but smile.

Brody offers to dance with Rachel and she accepts before looking over her shoulder at Finn for a moment to make sure that he's going to be alright with it – and he is, so she continues.

"You're a vision in white," Brody tells her as they walk out onto the dance floor. "I hope you don't mind my saying that."

Rachel blushes and turns her head down to the floor. "Of course not," she tells him, grabbing him by the hand and feeling him lead her into their dance. "Your girlfriend is lovely."

"She is, isn't she?" He smiles and looks over at her before looking back at Rachel again.

"You know, I have a secret to tell you, if you don't mind keeping it."

Rachel giggles and bites down on her lip. "Scout's honor."

"I was going to propose to her. Tonight." She makes a face. "After your wedding, I mean. I could never steal the spotlight away from the multi-talented Rachel Berry."

She laughs and looks down at their feet. Brody still knows her, even if they're not an item anymore. "Well, I wish you the best of luck," she tells him. "She certainly seems to love you."

There's a beat of silence between them and Brody smiles at her, watching as she looks over at Finn. "You know, I always knew you two would end up together."

She quirks an eyebrow and looks at him, confused. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. I mean, the way he looks at you, Rachel… it's the same way I look at Katie. He loves you more than anyone else can."

She blushes and looks at Brody, the song dying down. They separate from one another and walk off of the dance floor, Rachel walking back towards her table where Finn sits.

"Promise me that I get to go to your wedding, right?"

Brody laughs before watching her walk back to her table.

"I promise."

**xxxx.**

They sit on the couch one night, Rachel reviewing her lines. The show's closing soon and she only has about five performances left, but in natural Rachel Berry fashion, she's making sure that she's ready for anything.

Finn loves that about her. She's always prepared for everything.

"You sure that you're completely memorized?" He asks her, teasing her slightly. She places her script in her lap and makes a face at him, giggling.

"Yes," she tells him, standing up from the couch. "I mean, I would hope that I was. I certainly wouldn't want my last performance on Broadway to be a horrible one."

She isn't really telling the truth. This isn't going to be her last performance. It's simply going to be… a hiatus.

Finn looks at her, confused. "Babe, this isn't your last time on Broadway. I mean, just because your show is closing doesn't mean you won't have another show to be in."

She giggles, turning around to face him. "Oh, I know."

Finn still looks at her, dumbfounded.

Rachel smiles so wide that she can't contain herself.

"I'm pregnant."


End file.
